You Can Want a Change and Still Hesitate

There's something kind of funny about wanting a change and hoping nothing changes.

You want a different job, but you don't want to be the new person again.

You want more time for yourself, but you don't want anyone to be disappointed.

You want to try something new, preferably with written confirmation that it will work out.

So you think about it. Research it. Maybe make a very nice list. Then find yourself in exactly the same place, now with a list.

It's tempting to call that a lack of motivation. But before you do, consider whether you're wanting two things at once.

You might want more freedom and the reassurance of something familiar. More connection and less chance of getting hurt. A new direction and proof you won't regret leaving the old one.

Both can make sense.

Rather than arguing with yourself about which side should win, try giving each a little room.

Start with one situation you keep circling back to. Then finish these sentences:

- One part of me wants...

- Another part of me is worried that...

- What matters to me about each of those is...

You don't need to make either answer sound reasonable or impressive. "I don't want to disappoint my mother" is an answer. So is "I'm tired of being the dependable one."

Then ask:

What is one small step I could take that respects both concerns?

That might mean having a conversation before making a commitment. Exploring a different kind of work without resigning. Saying no to one request instead of announcing that you're a whole new person.

The goal isn't to talk yourself into a big decision. It's to understand what makes the decision difficult, so your next step takes that into account.

If you'd like a little structure, try Work Through What's on Your Mind, a free guided reflection with no contact information required.

And if you'd like someone to help you sort through it, you're welcome to book a free Discovery Session with me.